When looking for a good mediator there are a few crucial matters to consider. A mediator needs to have honesty, experience, familiarity with the subject matter, training, a likable demeanor, self-control, and perseverance. Let's look at the "hows" and "whys" of each of these crucial mediator traits.
Training- Before hiring a mediator find out how much education s/he has in mediation.
Experience- As with all disciplines there is a lot of refinement and learning which comes with experience, and a mediator who has seen only a few meditations cannot be compared to one who has seen hundreds.
Honesty- A mediator needs to have the integrity to make sure that both parties are getting a fair deal. If a mediator is not completely honest, one party could end up getting the short end of the stick without realizing it.
Familiarity with the subject matter- Even the most talented mediators cannot be effective unless they understand the issues in the case at hand. A valuable trait for a mediator is to have a background in the subject being discussed in negotiations. Otherwise the mediator will make unfortunate miscalculations, or you will need to take intermissions to explain to the mediator what is going on. Best bet- find a mediator who understands the subject of your case, and don't be afraid to test him or her before making a choice.
A Likeable Demeanor- Don't just look for credentials, it's also important that you, and everyone involved, like working with the mediator. When people get along well they are more likely to "open-up," talk things out, and come to an agreement.
Self-control- In order for a mediator to facilitate working out an acceptable agreement s/he may need to take a step back once-in-a-while in order to let people say what they need to say. A good mediator knows when not to offer their "two-cents worth."
Perseverance- Let's face it, in cases where two parties have opposing self-interests and often emotionally charged histories, they will not always be to quick to make concessions. The mediator needs to be capable of working through the stand-stills in order to help everyone to ultimately be happier.
Using any form of <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/">alternative dispute resolution</a> is a bit "off the beaten path" for some, but the benefits are almost always worth it. Good luck picking an awesome <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/adr-services/">mediator</a>!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
In Praise of the Peer Mediator- Young and Strong
Over the past few decades, mediation has grown in popularity by leaps and bounds. Today many potentially ugly disputes over business issues, politics, and family disagreements are settled through mediation. The essential structure of mediation is conducive to cooperation and out-of-the-box problem solving, and as a result, disputes are settled peacefully and efficiently.
But adults are not the only ones who attend mediation procedures. There are peer mediation programs, aimed at helping students to work out their problems, which are cropping up all over the country. These students are trained at facilitating the mediation process, and can work with their fellow students to "hash-out" their differences without the threat of punishment, and can deal with problems before they escalate to becoming painful confrontations. Student mediators are known as "peer mediators."
While peer mediation programs may be a step in the right direction, there are still a lot of negative influences that are bombarding our youth. Over the previous decades we have been witness to juvenile violence escalate in alarming ways. Students regularly bring weapons to school and minor skirmishes often end in tragedy. Considering the amount of violence that kids are constantly exposed to through television, movies, and video games it is no surprise that the natural choice of dispute resolution amongst them is all-too-often verbal, or even physical, confrontation. Many adults feel that there is almost no way to get through to "kids these days." So who is left to teach the next generation to deal with conflict in a healthy manner?
The peer mediation program is proving itself in schools all over the country. Since peer mediators are fellow students of the mediated parties, they do not offer any threat of punishment, and the mediated students are not forced to make an agreement. Rather, they themselves help to design the solution and they therefore do not feel the need to rebel. The goal of the peer <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/">mediator </a> is similar to all other types of mediators- to help parties <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/adr-services/">work out their disputes </a> and compromise on a solution.
In order to work out their differences students either volunteer for peer mediation or can be volunteered by another student or teacher.
The subjects of disputes discussed in peer mediation sessions can be about almost anything. Subjects that are worked out are often disagreements between friends, racial disputes, and boyfriend/girlfriend issues.
The peer-mediated discussion proceeds much like any adult-mediated case. The mediator's job is not to judge but rather to facilitate the cooperation of both parties in order that they should ultimately come to a compromise which suits everyone.
There are a slew of benefits to implementing a peer mediation program. Peer mediation teaches youth to be mediators, which is good for the peer mediator's self-esteem and may even be applied towards a future career. Also, students are often more at ease and willing to talk with a peer mediator than with an adult. Another plus is that students who come to a peer mediated agreement are likely to stick to the agreement that they themselves designed and agreed upon, as opposed to punishment, or rebuke by authority figures. Further, in a school where peer mediation thrives it raises the consciousness of the entire student body that there is another way to solve conflict rather than violence or hate. It also encourages tolerance, understanding, and working together.. Finally, it makes the school environment a healthier, happier place so that students can focus on making friends and studying rather than revenge and anger.
Considering the many negative influences that bombard our youth on a constant basis we need all the help that we can get to communicate positive ways of dealing with others. The success of peer mediators provides a refreshing picture of today's society against a backdrop of unsightly newspaper headlines. We are witnessing one success story in the tireless effort to instill good values and cooperation in the next generation.
But adults are not the only ones who attend mediation procedures. There are peer mediation programs, aimed at helping students to work out their problems, which are cropping up all over the country. These students are trained at facilitating the mediation process, and can work with their fellow students to "hash-out" their differences without the threat of punishment, and can deal with problems before they escalate to becoming painful confrontations. Student mediators are known as "peer mediators."
While peer mediation programs may be a step in the right direction, there are still a lot of negative influences that are bombarding our youth. Over the previous decades we have been witness to juvenile violence escalate in alarming ways. Students regularly bring weapons to school and minor skirmishes often end in tragedy. Considering the amount of violence that kids are constantly exposed to through television, movies, and video games it is no surprise that the natural choice of dispute resolution amongst them is all-too-often verbal, or even physical, confrontation. Many adults feel that there is almost no way to get through to "kids these days." So who is left to teach the next generation to deal with conflict in a healthy manner?
The peer mediation program is proving itself in schools all over the country. Since peer mediators are fellow students of the mediated parties, they do not offer any threat of punishment, and the mediated students are not forced to make an agreement. Rather, they themselves help to design the solution and they therefore do not feel the need to rebel. The goal of the peer <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/">mediator </a> is similar to all other types of mediators- to help parties <a href="http://www.shalleradr.com/adr-services/">work out their disputes </a> and compromise on a solution.
In order to work out their differences students either volunteer for peer mediation or can be volunteered by another student or teacher.
The subjects of disputes discussed in peer mediation sessions can be about almost anything. Subjects that are worked out are often disagreements between friends, racial disputes, and boyfriend/girlfriend issues.
The peer-mediated discussion proceeds much like any adult-mediated case. The mediator's job is not to judge but rather to facilitate the cooperation of both parties in order that they should ultimately come to a compromise which suits everyone.
There are a slew of benefits to implementing a peer mediation program. Peer mediation teaches youth to be mediators, which is good for the peer mediator's self-esteem and may even be applied towards a future career. Also, students are often more at ease and willing to talk with a peer mediator than with an adult. Another plus is that students who come to a peer mediated agreement are likely to stick to the agreement that they themselves designed and agreed upon, as opposed to punishment, or rebuke by authority figures. Further, in a school where peer mediation thrives it raises the consciousness of the entire student body that there is another way to solve conflict rather than violence or hate. It also encourages tolerance, understanding, and working together.. Finally, it makes the school environment a healthier, happier place so that students can focus on making friends and studying rather than revenge and anger.
Considering the many negative influences that bombard our youth on a constant basis we need all the help that we can get to communicate positive ways of dealing with others. The success of peer mediators provides a refreshing picture of today's society against a backdrop of unsightly newspaper headlines. We are witnessing one success story in the tireless effort to instill good values and cooperation in the next generation.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Should You be Forced to Use a Mediator?
Thirty years ago, in the early days of the popularization of mediation as a dispute resolution solution, citizens, like yourself, were just becoming used to the idea of using a <a href="http://shalleradr.com">mediator</a> in place of going directly to court. Over the past few decades more and more people are opting to use mediators instead of trial court.
There are a few different reasons for the popularity of mediation two of the most attractive being cost and time efficiency. But one of the things that people enjoy so much about mediation is the non threatening process. While most citizens are intimidated by the court system, with judges and lawyers and lingo that most laymen would not understand, <a href="http://happyyid.blogspot.com/2011/10/trial-court-takes-chair-advantages-of.html">mediation</a> is much simpler and non-threatening.
There are a few aspects of the mediation procedure that make it non-threatening. One reason for the non-threatening nature of mediation is the fact that it remains as private and confidential as both parties agree upon. Another non-threatening aspect of mediation is the lack of formalities relative to trial court. But the aspect of mediation that is surely the most non-threatening of all is the fact that mediation is voluntary.
Let's discuss what exactly makes the mediation process voluntary. Throughout the mediation process participants work together to find a mutually acceptable compromise. Then, the mediator draws up the agreement and if everyone is happy with it they sign. Therefore, in mediation the final decision is a voluntary agreement, meaning that mediation is voluntary.
But to throw a wrench into what we've just said there is another aspect of mediation that, according to some, does not need to be voluntary. Let's take a look at the decision to be mediated, does that need to be voluntary also?
Today, due to the popularity and success of mediation, even judges have begun sending people to mediators rather than processing them through the regular court system. The result- a mediation process which is not 100% voluntary.
There are those, like Frank Sander, who argue that the mediation process does not need to be entered into voluntarily for the outcome to be voluntary. Sanders differentiates between the decision to enter into mediation being voluntary and the final agreement being voluntary. According to Sanders, as long as the final agreement of a mediated case is agreed upon and signed voluntarily it is okay for a judge to require parties to undergo mediation. Sanders and others are in favor of requiring parties to undergo mediation and he is not alone.
On the other hand, even if one differentiates between volunteering to undergo mediation and volunteering to make an agreement upon concluding mediation, as Sanders does, there remains one major consideration, which may still make the idea of mandatory mediation a contradiction of terms. The problem is that once a judge requires that parties meet with a mediator those parties know that the judge expects them to work cooperatively. Likewise, both parties intuitively understand that if their case is being mediated they are expected to make compromises. As a result of being forced into mediation, the parties may agree to compromises that they do not really think are fair, and would not normally settle for. That doesn't sound so voluntary does it?
Another problem with forced mediation is the lack of control that might be caused to the participants. Instead of going to mediation with a sense of control, because it is voluntary the participant may feel more pressure. So should mediation be allowed to be forced? The jury is still not out.
There are a few different reasons for the popularity of mediation two of the most attractive being cost and time efficiency. But one of the things that people enjoy so much about mediation is the non threatening process. While most citizens are intimidated by the court system, with judges and lawyers and lingo that most laymen would not understand, <a href="http://happyyid.blogspot.com/2011/10/trial-court-takes-chair-advantages-of.html">mediation</a> is much simpler and non-threatening.
There are a few aspects of the mediation procedure that make it non-threatening. One reason for the non-threatening nature of mediation is the fact that it remains as private and confidential as both parties agree upon. Another non-threatening aspect of mediation is the lack of formalities relative to trial court. But the aspect of mediation that is surely the most non-threatening of all is the fact that mediation is voluntary.
Let's discuss what exactly makes the mediation process voluntary. Throughout the mediation process participants work together to find a mutually acceptable compromise. Then, the mediator draws up the agreement and if everyone is happy with it they sign. Therefore, in mediation the final decision is a voluntary agreement, meaning that mediation is voluntary.
But to throw a wrench into what we've just said there is another aspect of mediation that, according to some, does not need to be voluntary. Let's take a look at the decision to be mediated, does that need to be voluntary also?
Today, due to the popularity and success of mediation, even judges have begun sending people to mediators rather than processing them through the regular court system. The result- a mediation process which is not 100% voluntary.
There are those, like Frank Sander, who argue that the mediation process does not need to be entered into voluntarily for the outcome to be voluntary. Sanders differentiates between the decision to enter into mediation being voluntary and the final agreement being voluntary. According to Sanders, as long as the final agreement of a mediated case is agreed upon and signed voluntarily it is okay for a judge to require parties to undergo mediation. Sanders and others are in favor of requiring parties to undergo mediation and he is not alone.
On the other hand, even if one differentiates between volunteering to undergo mediation and volunteering to make an agreement upon concluding mediation, as Sanders does, there remains one major consideration, which may still make the idea of mandatory mediation a contradiction of terms. The problem is that once a judge requires that parties meet with a mediator those parties know that the judge expects them to work cooperatively. Likewise, both parties intuitively understand that if their case is being mediated they are expected to make compromises. As a result of being forced into mediation, the parties may agree to compromises that they do not really think are fair, and would not normally settle for. That doesn't sound so voluntary does it?
Another problem with forced mediation is the lack of control that might be caused to the participants. Instead of going to mediation with a sense of control, because it is voluntary the participant may feel more pressure. So should mediation be allowed to be forced? The jury is still not out.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Mediator Traits
When looking for a good mediator there are a few crucial matters to consider. A mediator needs to have honesty, experience, familiarity with the subject matter, education, a likable demeanor, self-control, and perseverance. Let's look at the "hows" and "whys" of each of these crucial mediator traits.
Honesty- Simply speaking a mediator needs to remain impartial to either party during the negotiations. A talented mediator is also a talented negotiator. In order to help both sides to compromise the mediator's job is to encourage everyone involved to give up some of there own demands. It is important that a mediator keep the playing field even for both parties. In other words, just because a mediator might be capable of successfully encouraging one party to give up on some of their demands, doesn't necessarily mean that is the best thing to do. A good mediator needs to be honest with his/her clients and him/herself as to what really is a fair compromise.
Experience- As with all disciplines there is a lot of refinement and learning which comes with experience, and a mediator who has seen only a few meditations cannot be compared to one who has seen hundreds.
Familiarity with the subject matter- Although a good mediator may be capable of successfully facilitating cooperation between two parties, even without being previously familiar with the subjects being discussed, having a strong background in the matters at hand does help. When a mediator lacks that familiarity the parties themselves need to constantly bring the mediator up to speed with the issues at hand. With that said, the less complicated the issues at hand the less this will be important.
Education- Before hiring a mediator find out how much education s/he has in mediation, and how much education s/he has in the subject matters that you need mediated.
A Likable Demeanor- The way that a mediator comes across to you is important. S/he should be somebody which both parties feel that they can talk to and that they can work with.
Self-Control- The mediator should not get emotionally involved in the mediation procedure. Okay, so let's be honest, if the mediator is a human being they will feel something about the case at hand, and deep-down-inside they may even want to side with one of the parties s/he feels sorry for them or feels a certain affinity towards them, or whatever. So in spite of the mediator's inevitable feelings s/he must exhibit the self-control in order to remain impartial.
Perseverance- Let's face it, in cases where two parties have opposing self-interests and often emotionally charged histories, they will not always be to quick to make concessions. The mediator needs to be capable of working through the stand-stills in order to help everyone to ultimately be happier.
This list of mediator traits should get you off to a good start on picking a subjectively, and objectively good mediator.
Honesty- Simply speaking a mediator needs to remain impartial to either party during the negotiations. A talented mediator is also a talented negotiator. In order to help both sides to compromise the mediator's job is to encourage everyone involved to give up some of there own demands. It is important that a mediator keep the playing field even for both parties. In other words, just because a mediator might be capable of successfully encouraging one party to give up on some of their demands, doesn't necessarily mean that is the best thing to do. A good mediator needs to be honest with his/her clients and him/herself as to what really is a fair compromise.
Experience- As with all disciplines there is a lot of refinement and learning which comes with experience, and a mediator who has seen only a few meditations cannot be compared to one who has seen hundreds.
Familiarity with the subject matter- Although a good mediator may be capable of successfully facilitating cooperation between two parties, even without being previously familiar with the subjects being discussed, having a strong background in the matters at hand does help. When a mediator lacks that familiarity the parties themselves need to constantly bring the mediator up to speed with the issues at hand. With that said, the less complicated the issues at hand the less this will be important.
Education- Before hiring a mediator find out how much education s/he has in mediation, and how much education s/he has in the subject matters that you need mediated.
A Likable Demeanor- The way that a mediator comes across to you is important. S/he should be somebody which both parties feel that they can talk to and that they can work with.
Self-Control- The mediator should not get emotionally involved in the mediation procedure. Okay, so let's be honest, if the mediator is a human being they will feel something about the case at hand, and deep-down-inside they may even want to side with one of the parties s/he feels sorry for them or feels a certain affinity towards them, or whatever. So in spite of the mediator's inevitable feelings s/he must exhibit the self-control in order to remain impartial.
Perseverance- Let's face it, in cases where two parties have opposing self-interests and often emotionally charged histories, they will not always be to quick to make concessions. The mediator needs to be capable of working through the stand-stills in order to help everyone to ultimately be happier.
This list of mediator traits should get you off to a good start on picking a subjectively, and objectively good mediator.
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